Okay, so: things are always a little more "huh" after hauling your ass out of bed at six in the morning to visit with hs teachers and then go shopping/brooding for six additional hours at the mall. I'm in less of a panic now -- which, but, hey! I'm allowed to freak out! he is my favorite! and twelve hours ago, the gist of it was, that he was breaking away! he was like, screw you, and Kyu kinda confirmed it, and the whole of fandom was like, really? REALLY? it was mass hysteria, it was a shitstorm of rumors and gossip, it was still NOT NICE, and I totally fell for it.
Now I'm just tired. Now I'm just like, man I'm gonna go bowling tonight, and visit with friends the next couple of days, and go to the dentist, and no longer give a flying fuck. Except...this is a lie. I will care! Look, Hankyung is like, 90% of why I'm into SJ/kpop. And I've come to really admire him as this guy who nine times out of ten, seem to get it right, by being reasonable and generous and ambitious and driven and is also really kinda hot. So naturally, it's outrageous/shocking when you see his name associated with something like this. I can't stand it when people give this air of lofty detachment, like, oh, well, you know, whatever. Ultimately it doesn't affect my life, he should be able to do whatever he wants.
Uh, hey now. You know, being a fan of anything, as twisted as it is, there is a certain amount of accountability that exists. It's part of the delusion, and imo, it's unavoidable. Of course, I'm not saying that fans should have any say in how a person should look, or how many members should exists in a group, or etc. -- if you don't like it, no one's FORCING you to remain a fan, so you can gtfo! But to be a fan of something, you come to rely on a person, a game, a movie, whatever -- that is tried and true. You're like, well I like so-and-so, because of these reasons. So when all that you think you've known about that person/thing is completely upstaged (dangerous territory, anthropomorphism, I know, but again, it's the price of being a fan), well, yeah: it's okay to get upset. And I'm not saying the emotions of the fans should dictate the outcome of any relevant situation, either. But negative reactions -- they happen!
Yeah, I still love him, I still support him, yadda yadda. But right now I'm pissed, and I don't see anything wrong with that, plain and simple.
"Why couldn't he have been like, 'Heeey SM. I'm popular. Let me do what I want.' and tried to talk it out first before filing the complaint? Since it seemed like he didn't even bother doing that and that's what bugs me the most, because now he's just standing there with his little peace V-sign and smile going 'Don't worry, guys!' while everyone else is freaking out." --My sister, who has a tendency to tell it like it is.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
optimistic
